WHy nOt ?

So I’m going to start doing this blogging thing again, and why not? I have always found writing extremely cathartic and there is something about writing down your ideas/thoughts that makes you feel like you’ve articulated something profound even when it’s the most inane thing ever. Also I have a lot of thoughts, my mind is one long continuous stream of consciousness (I here you exclaim; ‘but isn’t that exactly what the mind is’) that is at times interrupted by the odd non-sequitur. Writing them down here is also a good way to keep track on these thoughts and document them.

Movie review and some thoughts: When Harry met Sally…

So, it’s a Saturday evening and as per usual I find myself home alone plus not particularly preoccupied with any pressing (mind you I have a lot of assignments to finish still…). While roaming the internet I came across a weird .gif, I later found out that it had origins in a movie and my interest was piqued. I didn’t take all to long to find out what movie it was and soon I was searching for an online version to watch. I was lucky enough to find a 720p version on Youtube, uploaded in all its glory. Let movie night commence!

The movie is about relationships between men and women. Very early on in the film, while Sally and Harry make their long daunting trip to the bright lights of New York, they have a dialogue which is quintessential to the films theme.

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.

This naturally begs the question; Can men and women truly only be friends? Oh, and before some wiseass says ‘Yes they can, if the male is homosexual and the female heterosexual and vice versa’, let me rephrase it as such: Can heterosexual men and women ever be “just friends”? We can also dismiss the situation where the man and woman are both in a relationship and hence aren’t ‘seeking’ anybody/anything, like Harry does in the film.

The answers to this question couldn’t be more divisive, but in general I would say that women are more likely to agree and men are more inclined to disagree. What is true, is different from person to person. From my experience (which isn’t expansive mind you) I would side with Harry. All of my girlfriends/long-term flings have always been with women who were previously friends of mine. For most men it is only natural to form more than a relationship with a friend that is a girl, because that’s most convenient. When you’ve been friends for some time things are comfortable, you know the person’s pet peeves, you know what makes them laugh, you know what to avoid etc. Especially when you start spending a great amount of time with the person things might start blurring in one person’s mind. They think ‘if they enjoy watching a film with, or telling me their deepest secrets and enjoy being around me all the time is it possible…’. In addition, the more serious my relationships had been, the less contact we had with each other after it had ended (with the exception of one case which is slightly complicated..).  This seems to corroborate with Harry’s point of view.

On the other hand, I’ve had some, not many, platonic friendships. In a sense these friendships are a guilty pleasure, with most (99.99%) involving unattractive female friends. This is the only time when a truly ‘just friends’ scenario can be achieved, in my opinion. You’re comfortable with the person, so comfortable that they can come over at any time, when you’re all alone and you can rest at ease not even wavering one moment about attempting a ‘move’. Of course, then the role might be reversed and the female friend might be attracted to you. Furthermore, potential attraction is always around the corner. Like in my short writing piece below, people can transform, this time it could be naturally or cosmetically. I’m sure there are plenty of examples of female friends you’ve never cared for, who after one summer have suddenly lost a lot of weight, or have started wearing make up, or have had watermelons sprout from their chest and so on. This potential sexual attraction is the achilles heel to all heterosexual relationships.

Anyways, those were just some thoughts I had during my satisfying viewing of the movie. I really enjoyed this movie overall, it was realistic but light, it was accurate but with many laughs. In many ways it was a smart romantic comedy, of which there aren’t enough of nowadays. Billy Crystal (Harry) and Meg Ryan had great onscreen chemistry, something that was important since the film predominantly revolves around them. The acting is believable and the dialogue is surprisingly witty, especially that of Mr. Crystal once you get past his droll delivery. For a film made in 1989, ‘When Harry met Sally’ is still very relevant nowadays (aside from the fashion trends) and left behind a legacy. It’s legacy is so profound that nearly every preceding rom-com has largely copied the ‘When Harry met Sally’ formulaAlso the film probably spawned one of the most oft imitated rom-com clichés (describing a person’s features/habits preceded with a “I love’. eg. I love the way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh, I love the way you cry after watching Bambi).

Ultimately, this film was a great watch. Well shot. Strong main characters. Decent believable plot. Not overly raunchy. Thoroughly enjoying.  If I had to give the entire film an overall grade, I would rate it an 8/10


I’ve seen you over the years, transform subtly from a wall flower to a blossoming bright plant.

Always carefully watching your progress, but never too keen to intrude your natural progression and betray the innocence of the advancement that was taking place.

Back then I would observe you from afar, as if peeking through the bushes just to catch a glimpse. Now I am fortunate enough, to witness you much closer. However, this improvement is in a way a demotion of some sorts. Comparable to watching a film in the cinema from a close distance; unable to capture the whole picture, whilst the whole experience leaves you a little disorientated.

Naturally, your transformation couldn’t stay confined to me alone for eternity. Others gradually started to notice and I could feel my chance, my opportunity fading. I want to approach you but I feel my silent trespassing has spoilt all that could have been. Or maybe not.

I feel like I need to undergo a personal metamorphosis if I am to find out..